They Always Leave Me
by WhitmanFrostFiend
Summary: One year after Robin and Marian left for NYC, Regina was reunited with her soul mate. Now Marian is marrying Jefferson. Everyone gets their happy ending, right? Wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**Outlaw Queen. I promise a happy ending on the horizon. Probably. Two-shot plus. What do you think? I can make this long or short... I'd love to hear your predictions, responses, or any other comments!**

 **Thanks for trying out my brand of fiendish OQ drama! Angst, tears, and all that jazz... Enjoy the show!**

 _ **DISCLAIMER: I do not possess or claim any ownership over Once Upon a Time, its characters, stories, or properties. This work is for creative entertainment purposes.**_

* * *

ONE

* * *

"Don't marry him!"

Echoes of Robin's shouting tore through the room and through Regina's existence. Was she hearing correctly? Was she dreaming? This wasn't real… _right_?! It couldn't be!

A year had passed. One year since she and Robin had reunited. That time when they had been separated, when he had been in New York in Marian… It had been the worst of Regina's life. No matter what pain and abuse Regina had suffered and survived in her long life of loneliness, it could not compare to that separation from Robin. Because being left alone to deal with a never-ending darkness that you know is one thing. Being thrust into the newness of love and light and hope and then being thrown to the wayside to watch that happy ending being given to another – another woman that your man _loved_ , with all his heart – is a completely different thing. A whole other level of soul-sucking misery. So when Rumple came through for Regina for once in both of their miserable lives, and they were able to combine knowledge and magic to provide a cure to the Ice Queen's curse over Marian, Regina got everything back. Robin had come back to her. With Marian in tow, _but still._ Robin had proclaimed his dark queen as his choice the day he had left Storybrooke, and that choice had stuck even as he returned months later with Marian. He had returned to Regina and her arms and her bed. Their hearts and souls were one.

So what was she seeing now?

"This isn't right! You're _my_ wife!"

He was yelling once more.

" _ROBIN…"_

That tortured gasp was exhaled by the bride. Marian.

Regina couldn't in all honesty decide who was more tortured. The poor groom, her reformed friend Jefferson? Marian, the bride whose glow had been stolen by a haunting of the past? Perhaps it was Robin? His voice certainly carried enough desperation to win the popular vote. As for herself, Regina was the onlooker who was increasingly realizing her role as the collateral damage in this train wreck of a wedding.

"Marian!" Robin brushed against Regina's legs and strode out of the row and up the aisle. In a hurry from one woman to another.

 _This is real._ Regina swallowed, the lining of her throat feeling like a gritty, unforgiving sandpaper, trying to scrape up the contents of her quickly turning stomach.

"Robin! What are you doing?"

Marian turned to and fro, frantically searching for something and nothing in the eyes of her guests. For a moment, her eyes stopped on the beloved face of her groom. But she was too guilty. Her face flushed with a mysterious shame. Snapping her neck with certain whiplash, she faced down the source of her problems.

He bellowed, "What am I doing? What are _YOU_ doing?"

"I am getting married," Marian barked, her voice resounding with self-assuredness and a tinge of rebuke. "I am marrying Jefferson. You have known this for months, Robin. The whole town has been helping me for quite a while so that Jefferson and I could have this perfect day. This is the start of our lives together, and you're ruining it!"

Regina was shocked at Marian's snappishness. She certainly found it an appropriate response, but the behavior was worthy of herself – Madam Mayor. Not the supposed-to-be meek, graceful, kind, and unassuming Maid Marian. It was odd to see Robin and Marian this way, in the way that Regina and Robin interacted. The Sherwood couple was not volatile. They were a fairytale. They had always been the picture of the ideal divorced couple – like the Charmings but not together. So where did this come from? When had their relationship become so…

 _Passionate?_ The demon in Regina's voice spoke out with mocking clarity. _Thin line between love and hate, you know…_ But Robin had never hated Marian. _Fairytales are full of perfect love. Surely it doesn't die with a temporary death if that love is the stuff of legends._

Thankfully, the ruckus at the front brought Regina's tormented mind back to the present. Front and center. One angry bride and one challenging _other_ man, at your service!

"I'm not ruining it. I'm fixing everything. This is wrong. You are wrong because he is wrong for you!" Robin snarled.

"He is what is right for me! You broke my heart, and I found happiness. Sit back down, or leave this place!" Marian was not standing for this. Her tone and demeanor meant business.

"I will not leave. Not without you! We must talk. I am not leaving – not without you, _Milady._ "

 _Stab me in the heart!_ Robin was calling his ex-wife by _her_ name. Robin always called Regina this generality of a title that had become a term of endearment to her, but now he was begging his former wife with that name.

Regina held her breath. There was still a chance. He still had a chance to make this right. He could just be decrying the character of Jefferson. That'd be irrational but still somewhat salvageable. He could still sit down or cool off outside. It _could_ still turn out all right. As for her, she still had a chance. She still had a chance not to cry in this service. A chance not to stab him in the face.

"I CANNOT LEAVE! Please, Robin," the bride pleaded tearfully.

 _Why can't she just ignore him? Why is she so emotional? What is THIS? What in the name of Sherwood has been going on between them?!_

"Marian," Robin spoke her name beseechingly, grasping her small hands and drawing them to his chest. "Marian."

The whole audience watched the tender, deeply personal look that was shared between the former spouses. It felt as though they had intruded into an intimate scene not meant to be seen by others. This was not a wedding. Not anymore. But this was certainly _something_. The groom, who?

"Robin." Marian pulled one of her hands out of his grasp and traced the firm edges of his jaw with the touch of a lover.

"I love you, sweetest." Robin knelt and wrapped his arms around his lady in white's waist. He basked in the warmth of all that was her and what he was losing on this day. How could he let her go? "I love you for always."

On the tenth row, someone had been forgotten. A soul mate. A beautifully broken, raven-haired woman who was watching her dreams shatter.

" _Regina, you have nothing to worry about. Marian is my past. You are all I need now. With Roland, of course. You are my family. We are a family. Besides, Marian is dating Jefferson. No need to worry. I've let her go."_

Regina remembered the lie he had spoken. She remembered, and she hurt. Rising from her seat in distress, she nearly jumped over Archie (sitting at the end of the row) and sprinted to the door. Every eye paying attention – not including the two at the altar who were enraptured with each other – mused at the horror of what was causing the Queen to break her superior control and calm. She closed the distance to the exit, gripped the handle of the imperious oak door, and slipped out as quickly and quietly as possible.

Marian stepped back.

Robin pulled at her waist gently, trying to reel her back in.

Marian would not be deterred. There was someone else.

"So you have remembered me?" Jefferson broke up the lovefest with his acerbic statement.

"Jefferson-"

"Why do I feel like this day was a bad idea? We're not getting married, are we?"

"Don't say that. Nothing final. I need to talk to Robin. I loved you enough to agree to marry you, so if you love me, wait. If not, well… I just need to talk to Robin."

Marian truly did feel terrible about this whole ordeal. But there was so much left unsaid between her and Robin. So much they had neglected to deal with long ago. So many feelings. So much history. So much love. Today was the day.

She had regretfully called a halt on her wedding, but she needed to do it. She twisted to face her groom and pecked his cheek.

" _IS THAT THE KISS-OFF_?!" Leroy's untactful – or was it drunken? – shout carried from somewhere in the back. Robin, too, wondered if that kiss-of-death cheek kiss was a goodbye. Didn't a soon-to-be husband get a full, passionate kiss?

"Robin."

Marian called forth her archer. Linking hands, they marched down the aisle.

"Roland, give your mama and I a while. You can go home with Snow and David."

Robin met Snow White's eyes as if looking for permission. She glared, a fact that went over his head, but he took her hesitant nod as a go-ahead.

"Papa!"

Attention went to the young boy.

"I want to go home with Regina instead!" Roland wailed.

 _REGINA!_

"But she left without me!" Roland began to sniffle, and Snow took him in her arms.

 _She left…?_ A sense of dread slowly descended upon the outlaw. His face turned chalky white.

Roland cried in the background. Snow and Marian's hushes alternated in a soothing pattern. The smattering of whispered gossip wafted through the room. But Robin was slapped in the face by reality. Reality had knocked his dreams off their porcelain pedestal, in the same heartbreaking way Regina's had been obliterated only moments ago. Only his dreams had caused hers to die.

 _What have I done?_


	2. Chapter 2

_The Imperfect Storm. The one where Regina gets her ducks in a row. Or sorts through her ducks. Or ignores her ducks. This may seem filler, but it sets the Regina-tone for what is to come._

 _Thanks, friends, for all your support and feedback a few months ago when I started this project. Hope the winding conversations aren't too much. Sorry for the wait and if this is boring…? Keep the comments rolling because I love to hear your creative ideas and opinions!_

* * *

TWO

* * *

Regina flew out the door and down a number of paved steps at breakneck speed—a feat done in stiletto heels—that frankly, awed Emma, who quickly followed after her.

"Wait up, Regina!" The blonde woman huffed and puffed but did not stop. _I really need to lay off those bear claws. They're killing my ability to 'save'._

Whirling around, the brunette woman snapped, "What do you want, Miss Swan?"

"Hold up for a second." After bracing her hands on her knees and inhaling some deep breaths, Emma straightened up once again. "What I want- What- Slow down because I'm trying to be your friend right now."

"Is this supposed to be a hilarious repeat of the night Marian returned, when you came chasing out after me then too? Good lot of help _that_ did!"

Seeing Regina's tight face that completely lacked visible emotion (other than irritation) and her coiled posture, Emma knew she was in for a fight. But it would be worth it.

"No, Regina. This is me caring about you." Emma wanted so badly to reach out to the other woman, so clearly in pain, and hug her—a feeling typically foreign to Emma's closed-off nature and reserved for only the direst (or happiest) of times.

"Thanks for the sentiment, Savior, but I didn't want your brand of rescuing then, and I don't want it now." Regina turned away but stayed standing where she was.

Emma was not about to give up. The former Evil Queen was just like the former foster kid. They were both broken. She knew from experience that broken people had jagged, delicate edges; all Regina needed was a person brave enough to paw at that damaged shards to help fix the soft, vulnerable person at her core. And Emma would be that brave person – if only for this moment.

"Just talk to me. I will not let you go into a reckless rampage – or God forbid, heartbreak – and drive like a maniac and kill yourself. Or else the Sheriff will have to handcuff you." Emma offered an untimely smirk.

The effort at humor (if somewhat truthful, still) managed to knock some sense or at least pause into Regina. Where Emma would have expected at least a raise of an eyebrow or a returned smirk any other day, Regina replied dryly: "I'd like to see you try, Swan. And I really think you have some prejudice against me—on the road, that is. You have given me _EIGHT_ tickets for speeding since you came to town and became the law."

"Huh…" Emma exaggeratedly tilted her head, tapped her head with a forefinger, and feigned deep thought. "Nothing against your driving, Madam Mayor. That first year it was everything against YOU. We _were_ enemies then, remember?"

If only Emma could keep up the distracting conversation, then maybe she had a chance of talking Regina down from the ledge – of irrational behavior, of her emotional upheaval, and of who knew what else. Maybe the Evil Queen would not emerge. Maybe Emma (not the magical, prophesied Savior) could save the day. Maybe she could actually be a good friend just this once.

"The first year only accounts for five of those tickets." The brunette's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What about the other three tickets since then?!"

Emma shot back, "Deserved. You really did speed those times, Gigi."

"I most certainly did _NOT._ I'll have you know that I am the most law-abiding driver in this town. Except for maybe Snow White when she was Mary Margaret. I know what it is! You're prejudiced against my car! Admit it, Swan."

This sanctimonious act of Regina's, which had evolved from a genuine superiority complex and become an entertaining game of hers, really made Emma love this woman. Hopefully the appearance of the cheeky mayor was a good sign.

Emma jumped back in, "Never, Your Majesty. But you have to admit, a car like yours is just asking for it."

"HA! I knew it!" Regina exclaimed. "I call for a reelection! SHERIFF WANTED, CITIZENS OF STORYBROOKE!"

Emma felt it bubble up and rise up into her throat. The laughter made it out, and she couldn't reel it back in. _When was the last time I really laughed? And it's all because of Regina! Imagine that._ The fact that this drunk-sounding, farcical yelling came from Regina cracked the blonde up, as it was so far from the straight-laced mayor she had met only a few years ago.

"Zip it, blondie. I'm guessing you don't really want to have to campaign for Sheriff in another election. So out with it, but first… Don't think I didn't catch that horrendous name you called me. And do _not_ call me 'Gigi' _ever_ again." Madam Mayor (she was back), bossy and demanding in all her glory, pinned the laughing Savior with her signature death stare.

Emma would swear she caught a mischievous gleam in the former baddie's eye for a split millisecond.

"Okay, Gigi."

She managed to keep a straight face – until she cracked up, again.

"I see that look, Reggie." _I better change tactics_. Emma would need to be a serious adult for a second. _Oh, great! I've never done this part._ "Okay. Okay. _Regina._ Let's talk this out."

Regina considered Emma with skepticism and annoyance. Emma pretended to not notice. Regina went along with it and decided to slog through whatever aggravating and potentially _soul-sucking_ conversation was coming.

Emma let it roll. "So you met _the_ Robin Hood in the Enchanted Forest, fell in love with him, forgot him because of another Dark Curse, and then met him again in Storybrooke. You were reunited with him again. You started hitting the sheets with him and being a family until his dead wife shows up. Robin chooses you over her, but she is still _always_ around. She plays mother to Roland and "friend" to your guy. Robin believes _her_. And trusts _her_. You're forced to play nice. You go out of your way to be "friend-ish" with her. You finally think you're getting her out of your hair when she announces her marriage to another guy that is _NOT_ your guy, until _BOOM!_ Robin Hood stops her wedding with a ton of emotion that you worry means he is still in love with her. Am I about right?"

"Seriously, Emma?" Regina just stared at the blonde as if Medusa's snakes were coming out of her head. "You have the tact of a child. Perhaps even worse, you could even take a lesson from Leroy – at least his outbursts are concise. I am now leaving."

Imperiously, the former queen whipped around and strode to her car.

Emma followed.

Regina opened the door and seated herself, ready to leave this monstrosity of a wedding.

 _Ker-CHUUNK._ Miss Swan had entered the car. _Without_ invitation!

At this point, Regina Mills the scorned woman did not care. Her companion had barely shut the passenger door when Regina put the car in gear and then stomped on the gas.

"Sheesh, Regina! No wonder you collect speeding tickets!"

No response – not that Emma really expected one. The time for banter was over. Now, Emma would have to bring out the big guns, those harder tools she had scarcely accessed during her life. Emotional tools… _Just my luck!_ Years in the foster system and then in prison had hardened her; the shields she had built against predatory people and careless attachment made vulnerability and softness in relationships difficult. However, Emma owed Regina, but more than that, she truly did love her as a friend and a fellow mother to their son. She wanted to stand by this woman in her time of a pain, as she would have wished someone would have genuinely comforted and assisted her in childhood or the dangerous prison yards.

"All teasing aside, I used to do some street racing myself when I was a teenager. Loved it! Is that what we're doing?" Emma asked a bit nervously.

Again silence. Apparently, the Queen did not feel she needed to speak.

Regina rolled her eyes. Who is _this_ Emma Swan? She certainly was her mother's daughter. This could almost be Snow who was sitting in her car. Emma was actually going along with Regina and trying not to further agitate her, but she was also slyly attempting to manipulate Regina and get some answers.

"Hey! You're passing everything. What are you doing? Where are you going?" Emma still couldn't coax an answer out of Regina. "We're no longer in the center of town. We're not headed in the direction of your house. Mine isn't this way either…Oh!"

Emma was not liking this. The only place this path led to was… Oh no! Out of the town! She was _LEAVING_ Storybrooke!

"Regina, stop the car."

Nothing.

"I don't appreciate your telling me what to do, Miss Swan," Regina said robotically. Muttering under her breath, "…treating me as if I was some kind of ill-brained, lunatic child… just like a Charming…"

 _Is nothing I tried to do working?_ Emma couldn't believe a woman who thrived on power binges (Queen) and exercising authority and composure (Mayor) could do such crazy things in such a calm fashion. But then, she had signed up to hang around these fairytale loons for life when she had decided to stay in Storybrooke a few years ago, had she not?

 _This is it,_ Emma resolved. _I must be firm and direct and make her see sense. This is my last chance, or I'll be stuck as her Louise going on a road trip and over a cliff soon!_

"REGINA! STOP. THIS. CAAAARRRRR! NOW!"

Well, that did it. Apparently, Emma did not need word games and banter and child psychology. She just needed to scream.

Regina slammed on her brakes, and the car lurched to a halt.

 _She just HAS to do what I say EXACTLY when I say it, doesn't she?_ Emma rubbed her bruised head in the aftermath of the severe whiplash that the maniacal stop had caused.

Regina turned, with an eerie stoicism, and considered Emma. " _What_ , Miss Swan? Tell me, Emma. Tell me. _WHAAAT."_

"Umm… I'm in the car. With you," Emma gulped. Regina was really making her flustered. She didn't know how to deal with a non-cool-and-composed, un-mayor-like Regina. "We're in the car together. You… uhhhhhh… you are driving like an off-her-meds Danica Patrick and kidnapping me to places unknown. We can't up and leave! Our son— HENRY! You remember him? You would've stolen me over that town line, and then he wouldn't know what happened to either of us! So I need you to stop for a moment, and be cool and think. Think about him and this situation. Yeah, it's crap. Robin was a major moron and turned this day into a wreck. But don't make it any worse. You haven't let yourself process it all. Just go home and rest. Hug Henry. Talk to Robin. You need to do that and… Yeah. You just need to slow down and do that."

Regina stared and stared. Or was it glared and glared? The blonde's wild gesticulating and maze of a speech were making her dizzy and nauseous. _Honestly, Emma Swan, you have no idea who you're dealing with. I'm always in control. You apparently are not._

" _Emma."_ Her voice alone sucked all attention to herself. Even the inanimate elements of the surrounding environment would heed _her_ command. "Emma, look at you. Look at me. You are rambling like an idiot and giving one of those overly ridiculous Snow White speeches. Look at me. I am perfectly calm and in control. It did appear I was going over the town line… at least to you? I guess maybe I should've just dumped you over…"

"Yeah, but Regina… Henry!"

"You think I'd forget my own son?!" Regina was so galled by Emma. It was just like the Savior of legend that had tromped into town and hacked into her life.

"Well, it would be understandable after—"

"No. Do not finish that sentence. I would _NEVER_ abandon Henry!"

"All right! I believe you!" _Regina is tired of me? I am soooo done._ Emma redirected to what was important. "Since Henry is so important, why don't we get back to him, huh? Yeah, he probably wants to see you, and you could probably use getting back home. Let's go."

Emma re-buckled her seat belt and turned to face the window.

"Emma."

Meeting Regina's eyes, the exhausted Savior saw something different. Peaking through the dark hues of the woman's eyes, through the shuttered barricades to her soul, Regina projected an intensity. So mixed and so complex. Like the woman herself. She was sad and hurt, but more than that, she _needed._ She was so vulnerable and needing of hope, of love, of friendship, of comfort. And more.

Sadly, it was more than the Savior had to offer. More than she could even begin to approach.

"Emma, I know it doesn't seem like I wanted you here. And I don't. But really, it does matter what you've done here today. You did the best that you could by me, and even if I do not like your methods, you care. You may not be the Savior of legends and overinflated expectations, but you can be rather heroic when you push past your discomfort to help people. People like me. Your own messed up fairytale family." Regina wryly chuckled and almost seemed to release the watery torrent gathering in her eyes. She turned her head.

Emma knew that Regina was desperately trying to escape the embarrassment of breaking down in front of another. She respected that. All she cared about was the great honor of the former queen's words.

Regina continued, "I will think on everything you said today, Emma. I will. So we may go back now. I'll drop you off at the church, and then I'll go see Henry at home. But know this." Regina once again met Emma's gaze with a binding solemnity. "Henry is _our_ son. Ours, and no one else's. He is everything. He is the most important thing. I trust that you will treat him with every ounce of love I have tried to show him."

"You know I love him, Regina!" Emma declared.

"Emma," Regina recaptured the blonde's attention. "Promise me, Emma. Promise me that he is. That you will take care of him with your life. That you will not pass him off to Neal. Not to your parents. Not to Gold."

Emma shuddered.

Seemingly reading her mind, Regina continued, "Well, he is Henry's grandfather and one of the most powerfully persuasive beings – with or without magic – in all the realms. Promise me that you will try to give him all the things you and I never had growing up. Protection. Care. Kindness. Consideration. Respect. A voice. Rules. Support. Guidance. Promise me to love him for always, to not take him for granted, and guard his life as the most primary responsibility in your life. Be everything he needs, Emma. Be the best that you can be for our son."

"But—"

"Promise me."

"I promise."

Regina received the confirmation she needed. With a nod of her head, she released a puff of air and some of the internal disquiet she had been harboring like a cancerous growth of worry. Grasping Emma's hand, she confided, "You truly can be a good friend. At least in small doses, Swan. And you know how little friends I have. Thank you for what it's worth."

The shock of that admission choked Emma up. She was already full to the brim with emotions of her own and thoughts on Regina's situation and worry for her and… She was overloading.

But she did have some clarity. And a few things occurred to Emma. Emma had made that promise to Regina – with all sincerity. She loved Henry and would die for him this day – now – if she had to. But the promise made her sick. It was a feeling in her gut – one that gnawed at her. One that she did not like. People only talked like this on their deathbeds. Regina most certainly was not dead or dying and never went down without a fight. Why was Regina behaving this way? What fight was she gearing up for? Why did Emma feel as if she was standing upon the top deck of the Titanic and only Regina had any clue of what monstrous cataclysm was to come?

She felt so _sick_. But like all of the other times in her life that made her recall that _sickness_ , she could do nothing.

Suddenly, the Mercedes jolted to life. Regina was bent over the steering wheel, commandeering her automobile like a hellion.

Regina did not want to talk. Emma knew it. And Emma knew that she had too many confused emotions and question that Regina did not want to hear. Whatever Emma could say would be lost because Regina was determined to go on mount whatever pain-driven crusade she had already begun.

* * *

"REGINA!"

When Robin crossed through their bedroom and into the doorway of the master bathroom, he had not anticipated the sight he would come to find. That which left him breathless. His lover. His love. She was magnificent.

Regina lay stretched out in their bathtub – her olive skin glistening, peaking out amidst the mountain of bubbles. Graceful arms curving and resting along the rim of the tub. Her long, shapely legs that drove him to distraction. And at the waterline, he spied _his_ spot – the place where her neck met her gently sloping shoulders. That place where he loved to caress and kiss, which caused her to sigh in just that glorious way of hers. His eyes slowly fell to her perfect collar bones, then lower, to her lovely…

"Robin!"

His eyes snapped up. Oh, how he loved the fire that danced in her eyes! She was so beautiful – so like a goddess, beyond the confines of human perfection – when her soul was aflame. When she was a warrior queen.

"Robin," Regina repeated, this time steadily measured and waiting to strike.

"Regina."

And he just stood there. With feral eyes and yet a hesitancy.

Normally, he would immediately be at her side. And hug her. Or kiss her. Or even join her in the bath. But he remained absolutely still in the doorway.

Robin was both hopeful and scared. Regina was disgusted. _He had no qualms about going to Marian. Charging up the aisle and declaring his love in so many words. Now he's like an insecure little boy. Not so brave now, huh, Thief?_

"Regina," he muttered again, clearing his throat. "Regina," he boomed.

 _Mustered courage, I guess. Go on. Play the game and tell the lies you have to tell._ Regina wanted to be done with this. Just seeing him hurt her.

"Regina, you must know how foolish I was. What happened at the church… I cannot even explain to you what that was. What I did… I am at a loss. I do not like that Hatter. Jefferson-"

Yes, indeed. Regina knew his feelings about Jefferson. Jefferson was perfectly fine—now. He was a gentleman. Good father. Friend. _All Jefferson did wrong was go after her. Marian, the woman you still love but won't admit to loving._

Robin looked to Regina, but she said and did nothing. He continued.

"Anyway, let's please forget today, sweet. I love you." He sounded so sincere, but Regina suffered in trying to keep the revulsion to a minimum. "I love you, my queen. Please believe me."

This time, Robin was stayed by no anxiety. He marched over to the tub and grasped Regina, lifting her up and out of the bath.

Robin pulled her into his loving embrace. His soft lips kissed down her neck. His hands groped her buttocks. He was pulled into the familiar current, the internal rhythm of their hearts beating as one, their love and shared passion.

The only problem was that Regina was not consumed. No longer was she swept away by his supposed love. His betrayal – even if, by his admission, it was only a momentary lapse in judgment – had cut her. Cutting her until her love was the evaporating remnants of something once real, a captive to the broken trust.

Regina was closed off. She accepted his affection. Like a one-way transaction. But she could give him no more of herself. He had taken it all.

She felt hopeless. There was no Snow to be found here. No pick-me-up speech on hand. No hope to be found.

 _Does Robin REALLY love me_? _…did he ever?_

The second—that was the real question. And Regina was not sure of the answer.

She could no longer depend on him. Believe in him. Trust him. NO.

Could she trust herself? After all, not so long ago she had folded before this man and given the man her heart and soul to be his. Then today happened. What was real and what was false?

Who was Robin really? And did it really even matter after all of this?

All she could do was survive.

Robin suddenly swung Regina into his arms, cradling her as if she was a most treasured goddess. He was entirely unaware of his supposed love and her inner turmoil. He kissed and caressed and headed toward the bedroom. His eyes were clouded with lust and repentance. He was ready to start anew.

But his dark beauty remained silent. And unavailable. Frozen by her fear of Robin and the world that only seemed to want to harm her.

At this point, all she could do was survive.

Perhaps the morning would bring something better.

Perhaps.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hate me or don't hate me. I personally savor this kind of miscommunication in "romance" fics. Love ain't easy. Also starring: Therapist Marian!_

 _Also, I don't know if the chapter are a bit too jumpy for you. And are you not getting enough Robin? He does seem a bit like a loose canon... I promise we'll get some of his perspective UP NEXT (the update after this one)!_

* * *

THREE

* * *

"Marian."

The would-have-been-newlywed-bride whirled around. She glared at the 'intruder'.

Just a short while ago, she had rolled out of bed, reluctantly leaving her fiancé and her soft sheets, and started a fresh new day. When the front door had banged against its abused frame and disrupted her, she had been leisurely drinking her morning tea. She had been thinking happy thoughts and imagining a future wedding—take two, a better version of yesterday—that would go off without a hitch. She had been determined that today would be better than yesterday, the day of the ruined wedding, but _he,_ her former husband, was ruining it all! Again. Jefferson better not wake up and come down yet!

"Why are you here?" The glower was so unlike Marian. She was demanding and almost cold.

"I need to talk to you," Robin stated.

"Leave, Robin," she ordered him.

"I will not. You said you would listen. We must talk."

Marian sighed. She wanted this to end, and she had an inkling that this encounter was far from over. Her stubborn ex-husband would see to that. He would draw it out until he was satisfied with the fairness of it all, meaning she would have to listen. So she decided to just comply begrudgingly.

"I wanted to talk. I was willing to listen to you! But then you and Jefferson started brawling and turned my wedding into the lines of a battle. I cannot trust you with anything, it seems! Last night, I had to chase my fiancé out of our wedding unmarried. The wonderful man that he is, he finally listened and understood—not that I had any right to expect him to after the hellfire that you drudged up. Now, I am again waiting to be married and happily reunited with my soon-to-be-husband, and I would kindly ask that you leave before you ruin it. AGAIN!"

"I do not beg, Marian. You know this. But I must say what I have come to say. You must hear me. Please." Unlike the grandstand that was the kneeling he displayed in the church, the tone of voice her Robin used here struck a chord in her heart.

Marian would listen. "You can stay. For the briefest of times," she warned in the sternest of voices. "I hope that maybe we may repair our friendship. But you have damaged the trust between Jefferson and I. It is on the way to being mended but is still strained. I will not allow you to disrespect him; that is what it would be should he find you here. We will speak now, but it will be _you_ explaining to me what in Sherwood you were doing yesterday."

"I just could not let you say the vows yet, Marian," the outlaw moaned.

"But why, Robin?"

"I- I- _AAAAAAGGGHHHH!_ I don't bloody know _why_. I haven't felt quite right about this Jefferson fellow for some time. Then I was sitting there yesterday, waiting for you to pledge yourself to him for all eternity. I could not – in all good conscience – allow you to go through with it."

Eyes searching so deeply for an answer. The heart of a former lover and wife reaching out to the heart of the former husband and first love. Just wanting the truth. Marian so desperately wanted to understand. Robin looked so honest and downtrodden – like a lost little boy.

"You must know why. Robin, you stopped my wedding on a bad feeling?! It was _my_ wedding. Mine and Jefferson's. You had no right! None at all! I was ready to marry him and pledge myself to him, and you had no right to stand in the way of that. So you have to tell me. _WHY?_ "

"I really cannot tell you. I wish I could. If only I knew."

Marian ached for him, but she could not let this stand. If he did not tell her, then she could not help him handle it. And if it was not handled, then there would forever be a wall between her and the father of her only child. Who even knew what Jefferson—and Regina—thought… if they were even still in the picture after all of this.

"You know why you stopped my wedding, Robin. Deep inside, you do know," Marian insisted.

"I-"

A delicate hand firmly grasped the archer's muscular arm. It stopped his ability to speak and his ability to think, momentarily. Marian would not allow him another denial.

"Hush. I know you cannot fathom it now. You're too upset. But we must talk this out. If we don't, what you did yesterday could very well ruin our lives. I understand, but I cannot afford to be too understanding. Okay?" Marian wanted to be able to truly reach her former husband, but the question was more rhetorical than sympathetic. Still, Robin nodded his head lethargically.

"So then… Why now, Robin? Why now, of all the days in the year? You said you haven't felt 'right' about Jefferson for a while now. Why didn't you ever approach me with your concerns?"

No answer came.

Everything within her was brewing for a fight. _Should I slap him? If I called Jefferson down, he would sure be ready to repeat yesterday's performance. But… No. No,_ she commanded herself. _Robin needs me._ The part of Marian that was still the young girl who had met the dashing, young rebellious-son-of-a-duke steadied herself.

She soothingly rubbed his arm. Up and down. Up and down. With the beat of her heart and the exhale of air that _whooshed_ through the stale air. _Please, Robin. Please, help me._

Finally, Robin willed himself into response. "I don't know." He then adamantly added, "Jefferson is just wrong. So that makes him wrong for you."

"Do you not believe myself capable of deciding who is right for me?" Marian forced her face into a mask of patience.

"Normally, I would say that you are the most kind-hearted and level-headed of women." In frustration, Robin rubbed the back of his head.

"Normally?"

"But this is not your normal behavior, Marian," Robin barreled on. "Jefferson is _not_ good for you. He is a bad man. A murderer. A raving lune. A madman. He cannot be trusted, and the only reason you do trust him is because you're heartbroken and your judgment is impaired. He should never have been in the same room as Roland. It makes _me_ very uncomfortable to be in the same room as him."

"Did I really hear you speak to me in such a manner?" Marian eyed Robin as only a woman who has been a wife or mother can do. With a certain measure of scolding. "I believe what you said – beyond general idiocy – is that you are prejudiced against Jefferson. You consider me a desperate, weak woman. _As if I could never get over the rejection of the great Robin Hood_ ," she muttered sarcastically. " _AAAAANNND_ that you think I am unfit mother because I allowed my son to spend time with a dangerous man. Am I correct?"

"NO!" Robin shouted in shock and upset. "Of course not, Marian. You completely misinterpreted my well-meaning caring for you and our son."

"Really? Even should I believe you, and ignore the hurtful implications of your words, you, my darling, are being so utterly blind." She poked him in the chest to emphasize her point.

"I am not stupid, Marian," Robin barked. "Say what you need to."

"What you said completely neglects to consider your history and your choices and our lives. Let me put this in the simplest terms possible. Your hypocrisy is telling me to throw away Jefferson, one of the most loving men I have ever met. All because he did bad things in the past."

"Hideous things, Marian," Robin argued.

"Fine. _Hideous_ things. But I will not listen to you, Robin. Not on this. Because I once met a man who had abandoned his parents and duties to drift in and out of villages, thieving and pillaging and doing all kinds of questionable things. This man turned out to be honorable and loyal and strong and brave. This man is one of the best men I know, Robin. He is you. And you have chosen to be with a woman who once murdered the masses in the Enchanted Forest. You say she is redeemed. Is she really? You say yes. Then why cannot Jefferson have changed? Why cannot he be afforded a second chance at life? And love?"

"You say he has changed. He says it. I do not believe it." Robin stood stiffly with his arms crossed. He would not bend. (At least, not yet.)

"Believe it or not, Robin. It truly matters not to me whether you can accept he has changed. He has changed. He is no longer a trickster. He does love me. I have never known you to see the worst in people. And I saw you react to what I said about Regina—who you are _supposed_ to love-"

"I do love her!" Robin interjected.

"-so I think something else is your problem."

"What would that be?" The archer snapped.

"Let's talk about Regina. Do you love her?"

The question pelted Robin with ice. _She would question me over this?!_

Robin spoke slowly and with restrained animosity: "I love her with all of my being. Regina is my soul mate. We were meant to be. You know me, Marian. I love with my life, not just my heart. Differently but similarly to how I loved and in some measure still do love you. I could not control fate. My heart moved on—to Regina. How could you question not only my love for Regina but the love we shared?"

The blue of his eyes—that she had so love, that drew her in—capture her and implored her. She almost felt a bit of regret for her interrogation. But the cost would be too high to stop now.

"I know you loved me—with all you were _then._ Just as I loved you. I hope you love Regina _now_. I believe you do. After those first months of dejectedness and tears after I came to Storybrooke, I started to take time to pay attention. What I saw was you loving her. Not loving me." She hurried on before she became caught up in the loaded facts of their emotions. "So why do you act this way, Robin? Why did you break her heart so completely yesterday? Do you want me back?"

"I don't know." With Marian in his face, he corrected himself. "No. I want Regina. I love _her_."

"Are you jealous? The little boy who doesn't want to share his toys, even the ones he no longer plays with?" Marian poked and prodded.

"NO!" Robin roared. "Do not insult me of all people. I respect you. I may not be in love with you but I love you and always will. I am _not_ jealous!"

"THEN _WHYYYY?_!"

"I DO _NOT_ KNOOOWWW! Get it through your head, Marian. I don't know why!"

And with the echoes of his wounded cry, her mind went silent. Her soul found peace. She knew why. _Oh, Robin…_ She hurt for him and loved him and could kill him.

"I finally understand, Robin," she whispered in unthinking contemplation.

"You do?" he gasped.

"You don't _know_ why you did what you did you yesterday because _that_ spectacle was not your intent. You didn't talk to me a long time ago about your discomfort with Jefferson because you admire him. We both have feelings left over from the end of our marriage, but we neglected to talk to each other. The _most_ important thing we could have done." She laid her head on his broad shoulder as if no time had passed at all. There was just a boy and a girl who made mistakes. "We will always be friends first but we forgot how to be that. Because we did not speak to each other—truly talk to each other like we used to—those indiscernible and volatile feelings festered within us. I wanted my husband back, but he was no longer available. I found love and tried to cover the hurt. You wanted your friend back, but the friend you wanted was not the wife I still longed to be. So we come to this very terrible day that is today."

The weight of her head on his should felt warm and comforting. He leaned his head to rest on top of hers. He soaked in what she had revealed.

She straightened. With solemnity, she uttered his name: "Robin. Robin, you must make this right with her."

* * *

Regina walked up the path to the small white house with the white pick fence. Surrounded by dainty spots of marigolds and begonias and petunias, this looked like the picture-perfect home where the ideal little wife lived with her perfect little family. The American dream. A cliché, really.

Regina bit her lip. _Am I really here? At HER house?!_

In her mind, the events of the last twenty-four hours likened this place to the minotaur's blood-filled lair. (Leopold had once been friends with King Minos, another psychopath.) Beyond the horrors of her tears and fears, Regina held fond memories of this house. It was part of her original real estate holdings in Storybrooke – one of the few untouched by Gold. When Marian had stumbled into town on the coattails of Miss Swan with the unhappy inheritance of heartbreak, Regina had graciously sold the house to Marian. After the two lovers of the famed outlaw had become better acquainted, Regina had helped Marian decorate the house. Only now did the fearless leader of the terrorizing Black Guards quake in fear.

Robin had promised her. Had chosen her. Had made love to her the night before. But he had done so two other times before. The last night in the Enchanted Forest during the Missing Year, he had sworn to never forsake her and find her again in Storybrooke. He took his bloody time doing it, but they were reunited. But that second time, the time before this… Her heart throbbed in her chest, reminding her of the gamble she was making—in coming here. But she came here to ensure her other gamble in believing the man she loved. It was that gamble—the biggest gamble of her life—that haunted her, as he had promised his devotion to her and only her the day Marian came back from the dead. One day ago, he had risked her heart. One day ago, he had almost left her for good.

Today, she needed to know if he was worth it. Today, she needed to know it she would need to leave him.

The door was open, so she pushed it in.

'Marian' died in her throat.

Her _Outlaw_ loved another. He stood there with his arms around Marian, his first love and wife and the mother of his child. He stood there kissing her and drowning in her love.

So Regina stood there watching them. The Hoods. The couple of legend. She did not move or flee because that was not who she was. She did not run. But contrary to the habit of the Evil Queen, she did not burn the house down. She did not kill. Because the mother that she had become and soft woman in love that had become kept her heart torturously open to everything that sought to prey on the fragile organ. Her imploding heart rendered her immobile, forcing her to ingest the poisonous picture.

Her outlaw was in love. Her outlaw loved Marian. Her outlaw was not _hers_ at all. Was he ever to begin with?

Perhaps his heart had frozen in time when Marian had died the first time, waiting to be reunited with its mate when the tides of fate turned. When his true love would come back.

 _Goodbye, my heart._

 _My soul mate._

 _My love._

She could bear it no more. Destroyed once more, another day in a life tormented by unending abuse and sorrow, Regina closed the door.

* * *

Flooring the accelerator, Regina sped through the streets of Storybrooke. The crazed way in which her face was set and the manic way in which she drove made her appear to be a woman on a mission. But she was really just lost.

All she could think was that last night, when she had still wondered if maybe the Thief and the Queen could work it out together… Yesterday afternoon, she'd heard him say he loved Maid Marian. Last night, she'd heard him say he loved his queen. But he never said an _instead._ He never renounced his first declaration. His love for Marian would always go first—in history, in life, in time… This was worse than those years ago with Snow. _At least I never loved Leopold! At least I never made myself a groveling fool over him!_

"MOOOOOM!" Henry cried, running out the door onto the front stoop of Mills Manor to call to the familiar black Mercedes speeding by.

Henry was so worried about his mom. Yesterday, he had been home sick with a terrible flu. Emma had called him, informing him of Robin Hood's horrendous actions at the church. Henry's heart had broken for his mother. She had found her soul mate and what was supposed to _finally_ be her happy ending… What was wrong with the supposed-to-be noble archer?! Henry had steeled himself and made ready to comfort and just be there for his mom. Indeed, when Regina made it home, she had tried so hard to be the paragon of strength that she believed a mother should be for her son. When Henry tried to comfort her, she gave him a hug and then demanded he give her some time for a bath. Then Robin came home. Henry did not want to stick around for that. So he hid in his room. That did not mean he stopped caring or being alert. He could not get any sleep. So when she dashed out of the house this morning, he was again anxious. Waiting and waiting. What was so important?! And now this…driving as if a demon were chasing her. (Things of that nature did tend to turn up in Storybrooke.) _But where is she going?_

Regina did not even know. She passed home. She whipped around corners of some streets multiple times. (After all, quaint Storybrooke only offered so many escape route options.) Her mind slept just as she wished her injured heart could.

And then, she stopped. The car stopped.

Regina took a few precious seconds to superficially collect herself and wipe her eyes. When she looked up, she was ready to step out into the scene that met her. Fate, magic, _something_ had brought her here. To the cemetery. To the Mills crypt.

It seemed fitting that she should be here. The dark sky raged and rumbled, seeming to vibrate with a nearly uncontrolled restlessness. It sought revenge for its dark goddess who had been wronged by some disgusting mortal male. Yet the sky had not broken. The path to the crypt lay hidden in dreary, mysterious fog. Regina only had to claim her steps toward solace. While nature reflected and defended her, her underground sanctum beckoned to her. The subterranean cave of magic and silence called for her to embrace the comfortable pain of her past—the knowing that pain would come and keep coming but she would always find an escape with her memories and within herself.

 _When life kicks me in the teeth, all I must do is pull up the drawbridge and shut everyone else. The Queen needs no one._

Then her phone interrupted her march.

' _WELCOME TO YOUR LIFE, THERE'S NO TURNING BACK—"_

The ringtone for Henry blared, and in some strange way, she felt it was speaking to her. Mocking her? Motivating her? She was in no frame of mind to decipher lucid thoughts, much less the messages from the fickle universe, so she tried to be a good mother. She picked up the phone.

"Hello. Henry? … Yes. … Yes, I'm fine. … Don't worry, darling. I truly am fine. … Of all the genes, you just had to get the truth gene from your mother… Fine, then I am about as fine as I can be. Yes, I'm safe. … I really do not want to talk about it now. Okay, honey? … Could you do me one favor? Meet me in fifteen minutes at the crypt. … Before you leave, call Snow."


End file.
